Alone In The Dark: Pt.1

PART ONE: The build-up to facing fear

When intuition calls these days I answer that call – even if the call will entail some difficulties, and my reason can pop up any number of good reasons why I shouldn’t follow “that squirly notion“, as McKenna puts it. Today I became intent and set upon a course of action that would challenge me to the core – I was going to spend some meditative time lost in the thick of a forest in the wee small hours.

Now, not much of a challenge on the face of it, but there are a host of hurdles that will greet you should you choose to do the same: it’s raining heavily outside, it’s getting cold at nights now that autumn is here, I’ve got a million things to read, watch and listen to in front of a warm fire. A host of excuses not to do this. But do it I will. There is something to be learned by doing this – if only that I could pick a better time or place! 🙂

The image that came to me was of the passage in Emma Restall-Orr’s book “Living Druidry” (mentioned many times on this blog) where, in an accompanying and illustrative aside, Emma describes her encounter with the trees of a forest in just such an environment: dark, cold and lonely.

In addition to wishing to meet and face down my own fears, I have a motive inspired by dowsing too. On our visits to site we often find enclosures, or the remains of enclosures in the shape of cromlechs or dolmens structures, which were once enclosed. It would appear that transformative experiences, or rites of passage, or simply quietude, was important within the framework of druidical life of ancient cultures in these fair lands.

There must be a reason for seeking such darkness. Is it simply to close off the five senses and their nagging input? Well, meditation in a quiet place can do this without the necessity for total darkness. Is it simply to put the ‘initiate’ through some kind of trial by fear? Perhaps. I am aware that all or none of these ideas will help me tonight. Tonight I expect to go through many emotions and states of mind, and all in the pursuit of a deeper connection with Nature, an experience of her that few people get to feel, a connection that few people seem prepared to make in these times of electronic distraction.

I make no judgement of that. I only state it as a fact known by me, and operated upon accordingly. I’ve rarely been one to do what I’m supposed to, and I’m certain that meditating in a rainstorm within a forest at midnight would rank high among the kinds of activities that no-one I know would sanction or encourage.

So. On my return I will record my experiences, and see whether I have discovered or learned anything about working with Nature, or whether I am simply a wet, cold and foolish wannabe druid.

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