I was happy, I really was. Or should I say I was happy with my internal system of beliefs. Yes, there were the odd messy things such as Tarot cards and Aliens to mention two. But on the whole I could live with those bumps in my understandings.
But then, along comes the monkey with a wrench and drops it square in a place where it hurts. What is one to do with such simian reprobates?
Let’s start at the beginning or rather up until a couple of weeks ago. At that time and a significant time before then, I was happy with my understandings of Death and the smidgen of time thereafter. As this blog notes (on several occasions) I have no aversion to the notion of shades as the energetic remains of people (and animals) death.
It’s just like a physical corpse, only in this instance an energetic one. And to a large extent I am still comfortable with that notion still. But what then about our spirits? Well therein lies the rub, as the Bard would say.
My faith (note the use of the word) was that spirits where not of this world. Now, when I say of this world, I include the energetic domains, parallel universes, other dimensions etc. They (in my Faith) were just not active or accessible in this world. Now you might be asking all kinds of questions such as ghosts, mediums and feelings of a person. But frankly there are umpteen answers to each of these questions and none that require the return or presence of the departed.
Look, I am not saying that our spirits (or indeed theirs) do not exist. What I am (or was) saying is that they are non-impactful in this world. As I said, I was comfortable with this faith for many a summer until an experience came to my door last week.
I was out and about contemplating my navel, as is often my wont, and I sat beneath a weeping willow to meditate and relax. The day was sunny and the sky was blue. A perfect mid-Spring day. I wasn’t expecting any kind of commune and indeed had only chosen the tree because it looked like a nice place to sit (meaning no dowsing).
Then out of the blue, I felt a presence behind my left shoulder. I knew it wasn’t an actual presence i.e. someone human so I didn’t turn round.
Just as a side note…you know about the devil and the left shoulder right?
This presence or feeling solidified into a known presence, that of my mum. As clear as day, I felt her standing behind my left shoulder. Now, to put my cards plainly on the table, I have felt my mums presence a time or two before. But I have put it down to wishful (or wistful) thinking in each case. Afterall, I don’t have faith in such notions.
I was about to put this experience into the same bucket when I felt another presence about my right shoulder. What the freak show! As with my mums presence, this too became solid in its flavour and I recognised it as my dad. Now, my dad and I got on like a house on fire. Which is to say we didn’t and although my mum had appeared to me a time or two my dad, in the 20 or so years since his walk into the yonder hadn’t and I was not concerned with that at all.
However, on this sunny afternoon, under a willow tree, both these spectres were making their presence felt behind each of my shoulders. Highly disconcerting. I knew they weren’t shades. You get to know that feeling. What then? I tried to commune with them (even though there was the rational half of me saying, “this is impossible!” Is rational the right word?).
The commune failed. I wasn’t surprised, after all from my point they were figments of my delusional mind. Still, there it was. Me with my mum on the left and dad on the right, each with a hand on my shoulder. I was in this state of confusion for a while until another presence began to form behind the existing (sic) two.
As with the former two spirits this third form solidified its presence into that of my brother. Shock! When I was 8 years old my eldest brother had died in a car accident. I could barely remember him and had rarely, if ever consciously thought about him and yet… Here he was, or at least, here his spirit was…whatever that means…
I tried again to commune with either or all of the beings behind me and my brother spoke up. Second shock! From a point of knowledge that would be of interest to the readership here, there is none. Our conversation revolved around the personal, personal to me, since he would not let the conversation turn to the matter of his existence or place of being.
We communed and talked like long apart brothers. Which I guess is what we were. The good times, the regrets, the adventures, the coming expectation of things, hopes and dreams. All were on the table.
A few times, I got the sense that he knew all that I told him and only pretended to not know. I didn’t care. Bliss is an understatement of how I felt. What of the other two spirits, well they were in silent attendance. Listening…maybe enjoying.
Then as the late afternoon cold settled into my bones, they all, as one, faded out of existence.
Where they really there? Where they a figment of my imagination? Why were they there? What did it mean? Does it really matter?
I feel that it was a real experience. Mostly because my brother had turned up and a lot because my dad had too. If it had been just my mum, then wild fancy is where I would lay this story. But there was something else…and it wasn’t energetic. In fact, I tried asking the rods about the matter later and they answered “wobble wobble wobble”
So now, I have to pick the monkey (sans wrench) out of the machine of my faith and belief and see if I can find some room for this curious occurence.
Kal Malik disturbed
