It was the day before the Spring equinox 2013 and I was wondering whether to go out somewhere way before work or just after? I had got in early today and so was heading home around 4pm when I felt a tug. As you know, I often felt that sacred days are rather fuzzy in their calendar and change depending on the individual. It seems that this equinox was no exception and I felt the that today, the day before the official equinox was more aligned for me. So without any hesitation I got home changed into some more suitable and warmer attire and headed out. Rationality took hold of me and I thought to head for the Wizards Wood. It was close by and had been the site of many adventures. However my intuition wasn’t going to let me go that easily and instead tugged me in the direction of Derbyshire and one of my favourite sites, the Nine Ladies.
An hour and half later I drove right past the turn off for the Nine Ladies. The decision had been made almost at the fork in the road. Right at that instant I opted for (or perhaps intuition guided me to) Nine Stones Close sacred site.
A few minutes later I had parked the car and was heading up the field and by the side of Robin Hoods Stride and down into the fields beyond. Fortunately there was a hard frost on the ground and so the usual mud had frozen. It was bitterly cold but the Sun was some thirty minutes to the horizon. I got to the four stones and greeted the Oak tree first. Then I took out my rods and asked whether there was anything I can do for the site. An odd question because my usual one would have been “Is there any work for me to do here?” By work I meant personal work. But this time I had asked whether I could do anything for the site. The answer was no. So I asked my usual question and then was directed to a spot so that I could face the setting sun. I sat down on the cold hard ground, lit some incense and communed.
An overwhelming feeling of sadness came so suddenly upon me that I shivered from deep within. There were no images or thoughts that could explain the feeling. Just sadness. A feeling of time passed, of things finished, of leaving and of ending. The feelings continued to rise and rise until I could feel tears rolling down my frozen cheek. Of goodbyes, of farewells, Of things not done and things done. Of fulfilment and regret. It wasn’t a turmoil of feelings rather it was a train of thought or perhaps a chain of thought. The sadness was heart breaking. Then it started to resonate within me and brought to the fore memories of the partings I have had in my life. My mum, my wife, friends, homes, places and people. Experiences lived and now gone.
A rational thought interrupted the flow for a moment, “What is happening?” then I was caught up again in the emotional journey. In absolute seriousness I wondered if I was going to die, right there, in a field, with incense in my hands. Not a bad way to go I suppose. Then I felt something warm in the cold. It was like a warm embrace that chased away the melancholy leaving a freshness that was as sharp as the cold. I knew that it was the spirit of the place instantly. The sacred sites Genius Loci. It held m in this warm, fresh embrace until the sadness feelings faded. Then in one moment of inspiration it came to me. A question.
- Who have you known?
Clear as crystal, the question lay in my mind. Simple. I was stunned. I hadn’t come expecting a question, indeed for once, questions hadn’t even been on my mind. I was so stunned by its appearance that I stood up in shock. The whole commune had ended, not in a slow return to normality, but a fall onto a hard and yet soft surface. Who have you known? Was this a question that had its answer sealed in a Dragons Soul Book? The rods proclaimed a firm yes.
I had been at Nine Stones Close for only about 30 minutes and yet it seemed that my equinox visit was concluded. The sky was crimson now that the sun had vanished and a few days old sliver of the moon was visible. I didn’t notice the walk back to the car having been consumed by the question. Was it who I had known or Who the dragon had known? What was I to do with this question?
It was like a Zen Koan that refused to be cracked. The return journey (sans a wrong turn) was spent pondering what this meant. I need to speak to Gwas I thought as I pulled into my street. This, as Sherlock Holmes might say, is a three pipe problem.
Kal Malik and an Amazing life
