It’s complicated. Whenever I think about relativity my brain starts to cook. I don’t mind being mentally inept when it comes to understanding temporal mechanics, after all it stumps the best scientists too.
Gwas and I had arrived at a sacred site called Long Meg, but this wasn’t the place of interest. Instead we had learned that there were some caves along the side of a river. So off we trekked through mud and wood. At some point we got turned about and ended up on a much longer trek than we had anticipated. It didn’t dampen our quest however. As is often dictated, the toil of the journey is equal to the reward received at its conclusion.
In a previous post I mentioned that my Energetic Self had dropped (aligned) in and announced that it was capable of taking me back in time. What a breath-taking statement that was. But it was time to test it. The Fraternal Yews had provided the place where my double and I were again inhabiting the same body.
We arrived at the caves and what a fantastic set of caves they were too. Definitely the place for some serious magic. I asked whether this was the place that I would do some Fire Element work and the answer was yes. I also asked whether this was the place where I could do some work with my Energy Double. To be specific, was this a place where I could do some time travelling? Yes! Excellent. Which first?
It seems that the Time Travel aspect would be first. So I dowsed if I was ready for this feat? No, I needed to do some preparation first. I followed the rods through the small cave system and the took me to the darkest part of the caves. I sat – or rather – squatted down and let myself align with the energy of that spot. I could feel my double swirling within me. I think it knew what we were about.
Minutes later I was ready, I knew it. Inside and out. I let the rods guide me to another part of the cave system and this would be the place. Time travel. Oh my gods! As told in a previous post, my dear mum had passed in her sleep. Now, I was going to traverse time to that quiet night.
I had lit several incense sticks and was guided to place them in a circle around where I stood. Oddly, I needed some of my blood too. Fortunately (coincidently or synchronistically) I had cut myself at our previous stop and so had a ready-made gash that I could peel at to get some fresh blood. Preparations made, I closed my eyes and let myself go into the hands of my Energetic Self…
Imagination…I wonder sometimes whether it is imagination or reality. We have this damnable need to verify, justify and quantify our experiences don’t we? Did it really happen? Was it my imagination? Was it illusion or delusion? Then there is the almost silent voice that asks…what if it was real? The philosophical argument can be left to other posts. But for this one…
From Root to Solar my energy surged up towards the Heart. My energy-self slammed from the Crown through Brow to the Throat and into my Heart – Trashing the gateway as it did. Both energies mixed and rose up again to the Crown and…
Time turned, quite literally into a stream. I shot down it at quite a pace and then slowed to a point in time. It was some time in the early hours of the morning and I stood by the bed my mum was lying in. Odd, I thought I would be able to hold her hand, but couldn’t. I wasn’t real, I was energy that was aware.
I felt and saw the sprinkling of light starry sparks that was her energy. They were drifting out of cohesion. Fascinating I thought. But then the thought of thinking that took me. Here I was at a momentous time and I was self-analysing. I tried to seek out my own emotions but couldn’t seem to grasp them. Why wasn’t I feeling sorrow, loss? Or even gratitude for this moment of meeting again? My double (or rather me – it gets complicated) added a thought…now you know how I don’t feel… the “don’t” was emphasized.
The emotions that I had expected were absent – not because they were absent – but because my emotional sense was missing. I had nothing to do but to observe. For some reason I knew that my mum could feel me there. She wasn’t awake, she wasn’t suffering in any way that I could see and more importantly (to me) she wasn’t alone.
Energy sings. It makes sense that it does. But when you start to play with your energy-self you realise that truly, energy sings. At that time and space. My energy was singing in tune with my mums energy. That was how she knew that she was not alone. And then…something just…faded…a sense of life. It didn’t rise up into the air, no hollywood effects were discernible – just a sense of absence.
But a song – the song – continued to play and I realised that it was her energy-self. It was still there. Oh my Gods. I sensed that it tried to follow my mums – hmmm – spirit but could not. It really tried to and it didn’t know that it couldn’t. What a truly awesome odd thing. I sensed rather than watched this doomed spectacle for some moments before a tug on my own energy shocked me back to my body and the cave in which I sat.
Illusion or Self-Delusion?
Kal Malik
[GWAS] : “Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.” (Douglas Adams)
