Time is a strange thing. I give a lot of credence to the notion that Time is a subjective matter. For instance, have you ever switched the alarm off just as its rung and then thought to close your eyes for a few minutes more, then waking with a jolt to realise an hour has passed? How the heck does that happen?
Gwas and I were at the Druids circle and I had just spent some minutes watching the sun setting. We had been lucky(?) and had got there just in time to watch the spectacular – and as it seemed – forever, descent of the sun. Now with a crimson sky behind me, I was facing the Druids circle and wondering what magic would be created.
The dowsing rods took me to a stone that was the closest to the west (the setting sun) I don’t know if its position was significant. Certainly the rods suggested that it was the most aligned for me to do some work with. So I stood with my back against it looking into the stones. Letting my eyes close I vanished into the fog of commune.
Expecting to have some interaction with the Genius Loci, I was surprised when my goddess Cailleach appeared. And so began a most fascinating conversation. For once (and indeed the only time) she seemed amenable to answering some questions. The Q and A has drifted in and out of memory since that time. But one of the most amazing and unusual questions that occurred to me was:
Do you believe in God?
What a surprising question to ask. She looked at me, with that piercing gaze. “There are levels of being, hierarchies of perception. Just as I am to you there are others who are to me as mysterious and unknowable. Who knows how far up or down the chain goes? The ultimate? Would that be God?”
We were walking while we talked (or at least in the commune it felt as such). Where we were walking is a mystery though as (and it has always been the case) when Cailleach Is then all other observation is inconsequential. She is a magnet for my attention. Another question I recall was about her motivation and what she does. After all what does a goddess do when she is not, well, goddess-ing ?
“I nudge things,” she said, “I find places of power, nexuses of maximal change for minimal effort and give the required nudge”
An immediate question arose in me, “why? What is your motivation for action?”
“Self interest,” She smiled, knowing that this would perplex me, and then, pre-empting my next question, she added, “You won’t understand.”
That answer always irks me. The assumption of my ability to understand a thing is, in my humble opinion, an unfair judgement. I knew she wouldn’t budge on her stance. So I took another angle. “What is a Goddess?”
She laughed, it was a sound that conjures laughter in others, “That,” she said, emphasizing the word, “is your word for me.” She reflected for a moment and added, “I am a power, an existing energy, an awareness, a being” There was a pause of some length and then she spoke on, “Often I take a hand in the lives of other beings, that has been translated to the notion of me being a Goddess.” She turned to me with a hard look, “I assure you. I am not what they consider a Goddess!” Harsh, I thought, but fair.
There was one other question on my mind and had been for a while…”Is it the belief, devotion or prayers of people that empowers you?” I thought it was a fair question to ask, but as I waited for an answer, I realised that the previous question and answer had bearing on this one. Cailleach also thought so, or so I felt, as she waited for the depth of my foolishness to sink in. Terrific! Finally she answered.
“No, I am not empowered by your belief, devotion or prayers” She said the last with a serious amount of disdain. “Such intentions help to bridge the gap between the realm in which I dwell and yours.” She looked at me with her paralysing gaze, “Which is not to say that I cannot cross that gap of my own volition.”
I felt a little chastised I have to say, which stifled any other questions about “realms” and “intentions” that I had. We walked on for a while longer before my attention faded into normal reality. The experience was complete for the while at least.
Kal Malik – Conversation with a Goddess.
