I won’t update you with all the story. You can read it by following these links…
In part 5 I left you at the edge of a cliff wondering what had really gone on, behind the innocent scenes so to speak. Well, here is the latter part of the revelation (dream) and the confirmations that were received at the wizards wood.
In a previous post I already learned that the Goddess Cailleach had blocked me from connecting with my Energy Self. I had also learned that she had blocked my Double from getting to me too. That, frankly was (and is) a disturbing feat. My loyalty, or perhaps it’s more accurate to say my trust in her had waned instantly. One word had rang clearly in my mind, betrayal.
Note: I am aware that the Tarot card reading might be pushing me towards the word betrayal.
As I said, learning of Cailleach’s actions was disconcerting. So my questioning continued…
- Was there anything else of energetic significance happening yesterday? Yes
- Did it have anything to do with Cailleach? Yes
- Did it have anything to do with me as well? No
- Did it have anything to do with the Gathering? Yes
Ah…more culprits? I couldn’t believe that Ancient Yew or Oak had any malicious intent. Dinas Bran? I enquired about all three and found that all three where exerting some energetic influence on the proceedings. I was disappointed in them. Had Cailleach been able to coerce these beings too? No. Was she able to? No. At least she had some equals or superiors, I thought.
I was missing something I could feel it, as I pondered it, my dream image came to the fore. I had seen a chained dragon. During my drive to the Wizards Wood, I had thought it was something to do with the Dragon that I had released in Ireland but couldn’t relate that to this situation and so had put it aside (it was a dream after all).
But there had been a dragon here too. Had it been caged? Surely not? I had to ask. Was the ice-dragon chained too? YES! Oh My Freakin’ God! How did I miss that? How?! Had the dragon been chained by Cailleach too? YES! Why?!!
A more pressing point was pushing in on my thoughts…Did the dragon want the soul book? No! Oh my god! I was on a roll. Was that why there was such a storm going on atop the Druids Circle! Yes! It was the Dragon blowing me away. It didn’t want the book!
It seems that Cailleach was manipulating both of us. “What a Bitch”, I thought and indeed shouted out in the wilds of the forest. What then of the other three in the gathering? Where they also complicit in this treachery? No. Thank the stars for that.
Why, was the thought that spun in my mind? Why had Cailleach done this? I asked the dowsing rods, “Can enquire about Cailleach’s motives?” The answer was a disappointing, No.
Why hadn’t the Dragon wanted the book? Could I enquire about that? No. It seems that many avenues where out of my current accessibility. I was still loath to believe such treachery from Cailleach, so I asked whether I could ask about the outcome of this adventure. My thinking was to ask whether “In the long run did this serve a good purpose?” Unfortunately I was prevented from asking even that question. The answer was unavailable to me.
Note: Just to let you know that for many years now, I have believed and behaved in accordance with the rule…”The end does not justify the means” For me it is the journey, not destinations. Thus even if the end result was a good thing, the fact that I had been misled, the ice-dragon had been misled and that my actions had – in the immediate – caused another being distress, was very distressing.
Now that my intuition had been warmed up and my faculties of questioning guidance had been woken, I pondered the fragmentation of my energy shell. I had asked for the reason as to why we were being blasted by ice, wind and cold whilst making our way up Penmaemar. Cailleach had supplied a convenient answer. “It is so the your energy shell around the Dragons Soul is loosened.” I accepted that answer at the time, it was reasonable. Now I dowsed for it. Was that answer truthful? No! Damn!
The only reason that was done was to force the book into the Dragons maw. If it had wanted it, it would have come naturally just as I had been given the book in the first place in Ireland.
I tried to commune with Cailleach but the phone was dead. Sigh, you know we are so self-centred sometimes, aren’t we? I mean think about it. I got the Ten of Swords and there I am thinking who (or what) will betray me and then I get the following:
- Cailleach betrays me
- Cailleach betrays the ice-dragon which is an even worse betrayal if you ask me
But those two pale in comparison when I finally realise that I betrayed myself. That’s what hurts more. I have the knights code, remember that? I really need to go back and renew those vows. It’s not that they have got blurred, nor have they got forgotten, but the trust in oneself has been worn away by placing trust, not in the universe (which in my view is trust in your energy self) but in other beings.
I recall many years ago a conversation I had with Gwas about motives. At that time I was wary of the motives of other beings. I have been lulled into a sense of trust by a goddess. Trust in her motivations is the banner that I have been riding under. This banner had a subtle implication of…because you’re not clever/wise enough to understand.
Both Gwas and I are going to have to have a serious think of where this has left us.
Kal Malik – deep thought
