As the nights draw in here for the Northern Hemisphere countries our lives begin to change in subtle ways. We lose the lightning power of The Sun in the mornings and evenings. As this power is depleted the changes may even be mirrored in our body chemistry, and consequently in our thought processes. For many people “Seasonal Affective Disorder” (SAD) is a fact of life – they get more depressed in the Winter months. Luckily, I don’t suffer from this, however that doesn’t mean that I am not prone to dark influences. Here is my very personal story about how my psychic shield got breached, and I became a victim of my own dark shadow. If ever there was a horror story to accompany a Winter evening, this is one that will chill your bones!
I can’t tell you how difficult this is to write. I am a strong independent person with what I often believe is a will of iron. Once my mind is set I generally achieve what I set out to do. In addition, I am very healthy. Physically I am in peak condition, my immune system is very strong, and I pride myself in keeping myself in good condition mentally, physically and spiritually. That is, after all, my whole reason for being – to keep my soul’s cage in the best of working conditions. So, it is with some level of embarrassment that I found myself getting ill in a number of ways recently, most particularly not being in total control of myself. I was being influenced by a shadow self.
Jung and The Shadow
In Jungian terms I was encountering what the great psychologist termed The Shadow. This concept is so prevalent in film, television, fairytale and mythology that it hardly needs an explanation. We know it as the often sublimated and suppressed urges arising from our usually latent desires and instincts. Almost every horror film is a depiction of the struggle with The Shadow. When it is let loose it has the capability to put the ‘light’ self in a tricky situation, because it does not obey the rules and the established norms of society. In my quest to be a “good person” I may have pushed these instincts too far under the surface, and now they had chosen to re-emerge at a time when I was physically and energetically weak.
I have an inkling now about what triggered it to become dominant, but only because I have managed to dowse it after the fact. The Shadow creeps up on you from behind. What I did know at the time was that I was acting out of character with how I perceived myself, and out of step with my spiritual goals. I first noticed The Shadow emerge in the dream world, where my dreams began to include unusually violent or sexual situations. I put it down to any one of a hundred reasons, and carried on. It would go away.
Next it began to make itself mentally present during the day. My thoughts began to turn to matters that I didn’t usually allow. Forbidden subjects. Deviant topics. If you’ve had these thoughts yourself you know what I’m talking about. I began to wonder what was going on now. How could I be having these thoughts? I hadn’t had thoughts like this since my early teens, the years when my mind was struggling to define itself in its emergence into the world of adulthood, when laws and ethics were being created and challenged with equal rapidity, when I was defining the boundaries of my self.
The final straw came after a few days of The Shadow manifesting itself within me physically. I was now doing things, making things happen in the physical world that my poor helpless moral self was appalled at! Finally, it rebelled with sufficient force as to cause me to stand up and summon the forces of my will power to re-assert control, if only for long enough to decide to do something about it. This had to stop, or my world was going to come crashing down around me and I would be left in the middle of it, alone, wondering what the hell had happened! Hell indeed. Time for action!
The Dark Sword
The reclamation began with dowsing. I began with the unusual step of asking for the involvement of my primary spirit guide. I asked her to ensure that the results I would dowse were not going to be tainted by any other force except the force with which I usually interacted, whatever that might be. Whatever that force is we have established a certain level of trust and rapport, and I needed clear and sure answers for this session! With a feeling of my guide around me I felt more confident, and so began to dowse out what had been happening.
- There was a dark shadow in my energy field – around my head
- The dark energy had come in via my weakened crown chakra
- My chakra has been weakened when I visited Edinburgh Castle
- Within the castle there is an artefact – a ceremonial sword – that has been used in black magic rituals
- The ‘dark sword’ had drained my spiritual ‘goodness’ even by me being in its proximity and had drawn me to it
From that moment on I was in a weakened and vulnerable state. All the way around the castle my thoughts were on this sword. Only briefly, when I dowsed the Stone of Destiny, did my thoughts move away from it. I hadn’t seen the sword, but I knew it was in the barracks somewhere, and I knew it was the most powerful thing in the castle. Even more so than the Stone of Destiny! Such power! I could feel it. I wanted to touch it! It wanted me to touch it. It attracted my thoughts and with that bizarre moment of lusting for power I let something in via my weakened crown chakra. Something dark and demonic focused itself on me, and from then on I began to develop these dark thoughts. I had formed some kind of link between the darkness and my spiritual centre.
Dispelling the darkness
I called upon my spiritual guide and teacher to assist with finding a resolution to this problem. I asked what I could do and was shown a vision of a hill with an oak tree, and the oak tree was throwing its branches from side to side violently. I knew exactly where that was, but the movement was unusual. I didn’t know what that was about yet. I set a date to go, and then made sure I had the opportunity. I went to get my hair cut in town in order to give myself a “clear head”. It also meant that I had an excuse to wash my head before I left the house too – cleansing is an important preparation for change, I feel.
The sun was shining as I walked up a local hill, and as I walked through the trees that cloak the lower levels and screen the path to the top of the hill I noticed that the wind was blowing a chorus of approval through their branches, making them bow and tilt as though they were excited about the ritual that was to come. I know I was. The walk up was serene and sun-filled, despite the voices of the wind and trees – I seemed to take the path that offered the most shelter and was the quietest route up.
As I came to a break in the tree-lined path I took a moment to look at the sun as it shone through the gap. There, in front of me, was the perfect pedestal for the spiral-cut rock that I had brought with me – a rock that I had bought in Edinburgh. It seemed fitting to charge the rock with positive energy to assist my work. After a few minutes in the sunlight the rock was humming with positive energy as I picked it back up.
I emerged from the shelter of the trees onto the shorn and bleak crest of the hill. The wind howled in strong gusts, shaking the familiar oak tree that was my old friend. I could see that the tree matched the vision I had and that the wind was fulfilling the vision to a tee by stretching the oak limbs and making them wave frantically. Despite the gusty wind I was easily able to light three sticks of incense. With their smell occasionally reaching my nostrils I began to engage with the tree in order to dispel the darkness of The Scottish Sword.
After grounding and centering, I took energy from the spiral-cut rock, and then gathered my spirit guides. I felt a slow shower of white light slowly descending, twinkling and tingling all the way down my body. At the end of the first pass a cow in a nearby field bellowed in a short sharp outburst startling me! A sign? I did the procedure again, but this time the pass of showering white tingling sparks was wider, cleansing my whole energy aura. Again, at the end there was a quieter but still lone and distinct lowing from one cow. Definitely a sign! With these signs indicating the end of the cleansing, I filled my aura with the energies of the tree, the elements, the hill and the spirits around me. I felt fantastic again – freed of all this ridiculous dark shadow that had been hanging around me for weeks.
I thanked the tree and unwound all my processes – dissipating the energies, picking the incense up, and taking back the wonderful spiral rock that had been so useful in achieving balance again. It was then that I noticed that the rock’s spiral carving showed not one male or female spiral but a continuous line that became a spiral first one way then the other – both male and female intertwined. The ultimate symbol of a balanced energy form! Afterwards I was so energised that I did a hundred and one things that I had been putting off for a long time. It felt great to be back! Free of the sickness, the shadow and the sword.
Gwas.
